the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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