She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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