is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
