I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
