so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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