Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
