you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
