like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I party with great urgency now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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