I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
