Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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