At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize