I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
