im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
