Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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