I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
