The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
