i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
