How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
