i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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