You really coming over, don't trick.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
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