one two three fourrrrnication!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
