chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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