So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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