She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
