Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
