seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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