I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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