I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
