i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
