someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
