Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
