i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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