haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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