I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Congratulations! We have a period
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