DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
