How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
