i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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