was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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