He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sarcasm needs its own font
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
