She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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