areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
