shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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