i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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