I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
