I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
