Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
