he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if only i could text you this smell
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize