the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
