Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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