You're earring is so big in my mouth
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
