I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
