we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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