are you still at the devil's house?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
BRING THE BAGELS
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
