As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think my moral compass just broke
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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