We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
