I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
