if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
