I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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