so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
