i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
